


Faith in Death

by Clara-Who (Fooksy)



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:35:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23091916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fooksy/pseuds/Clara-Who
Summary: *Major Spoilers for Fantasy High Live*When Kristen died, she was given time to reflect on her life up until this point and why she ended up where she was.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24





	Faith in Death

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to @aydaofleviathan on Tumblr for helping me by proof reading this! Check them out.
> 
> That being said, hope yall enjoy this fic!!

Kristen is dead. 

Again. 

For the third time now. 

At this point she thinks she should get a punch card for the afterlife, if you manage three deaths then you get one free resurrection, wouldn’t that be nice. Then she could pop right back up, and give that skeleton-unicorn a good banishment or if that didn’t work, at least her friends could rough it up. 

But this time isn’t like the others; there’s no shining golden corn gates, no fantastic blue sky and rolling fields of corn, no angels singing, and no youthful Doreen. 

No. Instead, she is alone, somewhere cold and dark. Her limbs feel numb and her mind is cloudy. The world around he is an inky darkness with no discernible features. She’s feels as if she is falling, but that isn’t the right word. Floating? Sinking? Neither of those work, those have a direction, she feels like she’s neither rising nor falling, but she is moving... somewhere. Drifting aimlessly in no discernible direction. Just like how she spent her life. 

She snorts at the irony. 

Gods, she never had any direction in her life, as a child she was told that she was special, that she was chosen by Helio himself, that she needed to spread his word and no harm could come to her, so she followed the church blindly. Then once she died and finally met Helio, she realised that she had been giving all her faith and devotion to a god who, quite frankly, was a frat boy that didn’t really care about anything that seemed important. 

Her spiral of existential dread and fear over the following months was torture, her head was scrambled, her questions where bountiful but there were no answers that she could find anywhere. On the Subject of World Religions gave her some answers, it taught her about others beliefs and how they coped and structures their world views around them, she learned about the various gods; Leita, Sol, Bahumat, Melora, Kelemvor, Torm, Tempus, Corellon. She read and read and read about all these gods but none of them felt right, they never felt as if they deserved her faith, her devotion. 

Then she died again at prom, and was given an opportunity to have all of her questions answered, to forge her own god, that she could finally feel deserved her and could give her what she needed, the ability to protect her friends. 

But she wasn’t sure how much faith she had in gods anymore; none of the gods that she researched interested her beyond a scientific curiosity to understand other people’s beliefs. After meeting a god, they really didn’t seem like much. They were all just incredibly powerful beings that were just as, if not more, fallible then regular people. Giving that kind of entity your undying devotion, your faith and love was unnerving, as they didn’t need you as much as you needed them. If you were gone, they would hardly care, if they even noticed, they had thousands of followers, and you needed to give them so much just so they’d help you. 

Kristen knew that she needed to make something different. She wanted a god that she could feel passionate about, a god that she could understand and relate to, a god that would be there for her and would care. But again, the god that she made, Yes!, felt too catered, too much of an easy answer. Was that all there was to it? Did she just need a custom-built god for only herself to use and have at her beck and call to give her divine powers? 

Yes! had no doctrines, nothing to put faith in but herself as she made and decided all that Yes! was. Could she start a church? Could she be the prophet of a new religion? Could she make other have faith in something that even she was doubting? 

It was all too much pressure to put on a 15 year old girl who just wanted to know why good people suffer, who just wanted to be able to put her faith into something, anything! 

So, she started putting her faith into nothing, into the lack of answers, the knowledge that anything or nothing could be real. She shaped Yes! into Yes?, changed the aspects of her worship in hopes that she can keep her faith in her lack of faith, that maybe that could be the one constant in her life. 

It worked too, her spirit guardians changed forms, resembling people she could identify with, students of philosophy, others that were eternally searching for answers. Kristen bonded with them; learned from them, they allowed her to grow into someone who knew nothing was as it seems and there was no true answer to anything. 

They told her that the questions that bubbled in her were okay, they were healthy. The indecisiveness was normal, her lack of belief in anything is what she enjoyed. She should love the calmness and the simplicity of not needing care about the answers. 

But Kristen knew she couldn’t live her life thinking that there were no answers to any questions. She wasn’t herself when she was like that, she wasn’t anyone. Her undying curiosity that once had driven her had just turned to nihilism. It wasn’t that there were no answers, it was that there was no one answer. 

She hoped that that could be what this new goddess could stand for, the pursuit of answers and uncovering or preservation of secrets and knowledge that had been unknown. But apparently not, seeing as Kristen was gored instantly upon giving her praise. She was more like the goddess of unwarranted attacks and annoying followers. She died without answers, without faith, and without the ability to care for any divine being. 

Care. 

But she did care, as that big, vast, empty void had told her; she was what the universe cared through, and without her, the universe would care just a little less. There would be just a little less love in the world. Just a little less happiness, less questions answered, less people protected, less loved ones saved. She did care, she needed to care. If she didn’t, her friends wouldn’t be alive now, if she didn’t care then so many would be worse off, the continent could’ve been retaken by Kalvaxis, her party would stand no chance against Kalina and the Nightmare King, and worst of all, without her, Tracker would’ve ended up with some other chick. 

Through the entire hectic, bullshit, tornado of her life at Augefort there has been one constant, the unwavering support of her friends. A group of people she initially thought could be future believers in Helio but managed to help her change her entire life and religion around. They were there when she needed them, they let her cry on their shoulders, and they held her together when she felt like she was falling apart. 

They were her family, they are who she cared for, they’re what she has faith in. This whole time, she hasn’t been drawing strength from her lack of faith, she’s been drawing strength from them. She’s a life cleric for crying out loud, of course she couldn’t take get her power from lack of faith. Her party is what makes her strong, no otherworldly god, no big block Yes!, and no stupid god that stabs people with dead unicorns. Her friends have always been there for her, and she isn’t about to let go of them now. 

But she can’t go back, she’s stuck in whatever this is. The afterlife for non-believers? Perhaps because she didn’t know where she should end up, the universe just decided to stick her out in the middle of nowhere where she couldn’t cause any trouble. For whatever reason, she’s trapped drifting in an endless void, with no way out and no hope. 

Well, maybe one hope. 

*** 

A rush of adrenaline and blinding light as Kristen jolts back into the living world. 

“See, I told you it would work” she hears from… her own voice? 

She looks up and sees herself standing above her, along with Gorgug, Adaine, Riz and Fabian. The only one that was missing was... oh! 

Fig’s illusion drops as she returns to her normal pointy horned self. 

“I knew I would be able to bring her back if I was her! Hahaha! Suck it unicorn, you can’t keep anyone one down when you’ve got TWO amazing Applebees on one team!” Fig says in her usual, boisterous tone. 

Kristen stands up with the help of Gorgug and Fabian, then surveys the scene around her. The skeleton-unicorn had been shattered into rubble and dust and the only blood nearby seems to have come from her. 

“Are you okay Kristen? We thought that we knew we only had a short time to revivify you, but you’re the only one who can, so we had to use a replacement.” Adaine asks nervously. 

“Well I think I was a pretty good replacement,” Fig remarks with a wink. “But nowhere near as good as the original.” 

Kristen nods, “You guys”, she pauses for a quick sob as she starts to cry, “God, you guys are so amazing” as she pulls them all in for a hug. 

For this moment, she can feel safe, she can have faith in her friends and she knows that they can believe in each other.


End file.
